all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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