Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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