I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
