Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
