I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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