Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your penis caused this!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
