but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
