So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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