Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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