The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
