For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
