Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
