i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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