do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
