I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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