would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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