Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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