you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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