Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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