so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
