you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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