Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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