Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize