Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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