Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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