That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
