I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
