and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize