shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
