Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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