I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize