Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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