you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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