i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
