Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
