Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Congratulations! We have a period
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