I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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