it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
