That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize