took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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