I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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