you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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