I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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