I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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