you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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