So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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