I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
