Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
