I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
