Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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