OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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