Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is wine microwaveable?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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