Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
