I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize