David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
as a side note pls kill me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
