mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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