I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm really busy with my period
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