I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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