Whod you bang
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
