the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize