I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
